1/25/18

i kind of miss that band diiv. they really felt like something to me... i guess they're still a band. they put out an album two years ago. it was around this time, actually. maybe february... i remember buying the lp in boston, before having heard it, i think... i remember something like that. maybe it just hadn't been officially released yet and i bought the lp because the record store had received its shipment early. i also bought a green sweater that day, if i'm not mixing up my days. either way, the sweater i'm thinking of moths later ate and i threw it away before moving to coney island

'night time, my time' is a great name for an album. i wrote that down a few nights ago. i mean i typed it in the notes app on my phone. then, a few days after that, i saw the 'twin peaks' with sky ferreira in it. i don't really like her music, but that's a good name for an album

those are two of the notes i took over the past week. i took one more, but it's too maudlin to copy and paste here, i feel. i typed it in the middle of the night, feeling bad, i suppose. hard to remember how it feels to feel that bad, when i'm feeling good, as i am, currently, right now

katie mentioned i hadn't blogged in a while. i typed some things in google docs earlier this week, like outlines or ideas for a new novel, maybe. for some reason, for a while, probably coming up on a year, i've felt like in order to write something new i need to go to biloxi, mississippi. like that something is waiting for me there, some divine inspiration or experience or intervention. i don't know

there's a hole in the driver's side part of my car, near the door, but under it, just above the floor or bottom of the car, it rusted through. it's flaky and bleak, but i like it, and a second hole is forming beside it. my mechanic wants me to fill it with foam spray, which he says i can buy at the home depot for six dollars

feel like what i'm typing is boring. i woke up at two-thirty a.m. the other morning and stayed awake for the rest of the day. i ended up getting really upset, i think from not sleeping. been sleeping okay, but really enjoying the taste of coffee. i have some brewing in my fridge for later... for tomorrow, in the morning. i might take lsd

i've been reading 'the brothers' (1993) by frederick barthelme. i like it as much as 'natural selection' (1990), potentially. actually probably not as much, because it's not as emotional, at least yet

zachary sent me a list of thrift stores to go to near the catskills, where katie and i discussed maybe hanging out for a night next week. i picked her up at the airport eight days ago, which was two wednesdays ago, or maybe "last wednesday," i'm not sure. don't want to think about that too much, so i discourage you from fixating and/or commenting on it. you know what day i mean. later she said "what's your stuffed animal's middle name," which i thought was charming

other than that, jordan came to town. we drank coffee and ate chinese food. liquor town inc. in lefferts gardens ran out of calendars, so when i dropped off weatherhead, i didn't get anything in return for that. i really wanted a calendar from liquor town inc. i have 2015, 2016 and 2017 calendars they made. i feel like i "blew it big time" not prioritizing getting a 2018 calendar more. i tried googling it, but it doesn't seem like anyone has posted anything on the internet about how this liquor store on flatbush avenue makes calendars every year... would be so weird to find it on ebay, but i'd like to try to look for it. i don't know when they started making calendars, or if they even made them this year, i guess... earlier, i thought i was gonna definitely go early next year and get a 2019 calendar, but i don't know. would it matter? if you're missing one of the pieces, is it worth it... is it, like, a part of "caring" or something else

i've been feeling and hearing the vibrations of my body more, while stoned, recently. feel like i'm more present or aware of my body and brain than i have been in the past, like i'm focusing on the experience of being stoned rather than passively indulging in it

my cat is purring. did i already write about how conor said that's not necessarily about love, it's just a "companion sound" etc.? if so, sorry for repeating myself. i've been thinking about that a lot lately