8/2/22

white birch forest
and an intestine
filled with loose change

hospital jones blues

dragged myself to the hospital
to see what they could find
dragged my ass down to the hospital
to see what they could find
they said you got insurance baby
i said yeah, they said back of the line

drew some blood at the hospital
think they took a pint
lost my blood all over the hospital
i believe they spilled the whole vial flight
but they ain't gonna scoop it up now
they say what’d’you think we got all night?

laid me down at the hospital
showered me with light
they laid down in a hospital bed
scanned my body with the harshest light
said the radiation don't hurt a bit child
but what barks tomorrow today might not bite

tied my wrists at the hospital
said it made me easier to identify
chained those ties to the gurney bar
they said it was for my own good just hold tight
but my baby ain’t visited lately
i dreamed she’s out there flying my kite

they sang a song to me at the hospital
dripped straight scag through the iv
sang a song at that evil hospital
just like an elegy
said i wouldn’t remember a thing
but i remember seeing double yes i do
and they zipped me in a bag still shivering

coppertone vice

people have been trying to pull me down
my entire life
you get the picture
on bottles, billboards
you've seen it
until the day
my father put me in a half nelson
and yanked
those cyan panties down for good
maybe that's why i became a cop
i wanted more
than just a tan line on my hip

5/6/22

i don’t know how
i strove so long
to uninvent
in the face of horror
it’s hard to explain
how it made me feel stronger
to not forge
or concoct
in the wake of horror
to refuse
to contribute
to such flagrant slaughter

4/23/22

grackle
you are fake
i’ve seen
dust
this sucks
chest hurts
i woke up with redacted
and went away
nose wet
flagging an uber
in the forest
wondering why it’s not dead

2/14/22

amazon gift card is like giving you a voucher for air
and saying you’ll suffocate if you don’t redeem it
stop putting stickers on fruits and vegetables
forget everything and don't start over
if your subculture can be represented
it has become a part of culture
all talking is reactive
so i have taken a vow of farting
drill music is degenerate art à la paul klee
wwiii has a unique, encrypted digital footprint
je suis an unvaccinated truck driver
winter pilled bowling for cupid

2/10/22

the chickadees are back
i fixed the barn door
weed makes me dumber
so i live in terror world
i missed a call from germany
i took a picture of a horse
if humans hadn't lost our hair
we could be unaffected
by fashion
by now
i took a picture of twelve cows
and a bunch more of a rope

#whydoesmyheartfeelsobad

i feel sad whenever i see anyone try to look sexy
i feel pity for my future zoomer boss whose lauryn hill is beyonce
haute cuisine?
no thanks, i prefer my food cold!
ioc?
i didn't know she got sponsored by apple, that is cool!
if they let me control the culture
for just a couple of days
i promise everything would work out okay...............
for the literal cockroaches that want to be the dominant species on the planet
i would make sure they were the dominant species...............
by process of elimination!

1/31/22

horrors of accumulation
wait times of power
automated information
let it be known
the workflow is like salmon
it doesn’t know why
it does stuff like that
we can't try to understand
now you’re being attacked
best you remain calm
this will be over in a moment
no, i can’t define mom

Kōbō Abe's 'The Face of Another' (1966) on masks and the most effective way of settling things

p. 14 - “If covering our bodies with clothes represents a cultural step forward, there is no guarantee that in the future masks will not be taken equally for granted. Even now they are often used in important ceremonies and festivals. I do not quite know how to put it, but I wonder if a mask, being universal, enhances our relations with others more than does the naked face.”

p. 19 - “according to one theory a mask is apparently the expression of an extremely metaphysical aspiration to give oneself a kind of transcendental disguise, for the mask is not simply something compensatory”

p. 33 - “mine must be a mask that moved”

p. 45 - “the mask’s objective was to obliterate the base”

p. 70 - “the ordinary mask… attempts escape in a positive direction. I could give the mask any expression I wanted, but it would still be an empty container, a reflection in a mirror, transfigurable according to the person peering in.”

p. 76 - “In the case of executioners, strolling flute players, religious judges, primitive medicine men, priests of secret societies, and sneak thieves, a disguising mask was indispensable. It had not only the negative aim of concealing the man’s face, but also the positive objective of cutting off the connection between face and heart by concealing the expression, thus liberating him from ordinary, earthly ties. Take a more common example: disguise is part of the sychology of the dandy, who wants to wear his sunglasses even though there is no glare. But released from any mental restraint, he can be utterly free and accordingly infinitely cruel.”

p. 77 - “isn’t the mask something required mainly by the victim and the disguise, on the contrary, by the assailant?"

pp. 93–94 - “I was dazzled perhaps by the double aspect of the mask—was it the negation of my real face or actually a new face?”

p. 94 - “In mathematics there are ‘imaginary numbers,’ strange numbers which, when squared, become minus. They have points of similarly with masks, for putting one mask over another would be the same as nog putting on any at all.”

p. 106 - “my mask was more than anything else a challenge to the prejudice surrounding the face”

p. 117 - “Since I had put a mask over my face, I needed one that would fit my heart.”

p. 148 - “escaping from loneliness by realizing that everyone is equally guilty is by far the most effective way of settling things”

p. 149 - “Isn’t it true that the liabilities of an incomplete person—not being able, without the mask, to sing, to exchange blows with an enemy, to be a lecher, to dream—have become a common subject between me and others, and I alone am not guilty?”

p. 152 - “The real face definitely could not get drunk the way the mask did.”

p. 155 - “Though the mask’s alibi was flawless, and the freedom it promised inexhaustible, I wondered if it were not ignoble to be satisfied with the freedom of behaving covetously; I was disoriented, like a penniless man who has suddenly acquired a great some of money. . . . Far from being satisfied, my mask opened the roadway wide, like the mouth of a frog fish gloatingly awaiting the arrival of bait.”

p. 158 - “An arsonist is an eccentric by definition. But since the mask was a mask and not bound by a ‘right’ way of doing things, if the expenditure of freedom itself were guaranteed, there was no need to bring normality or abnormality into the question.”

pp. 161–162 - “In the first place, the mask was itself a serious act of violence against the custom of the world. Whether arson and murder would be more destructive than a mask could not be answered with pure common sense. To put it succinctly, it would be best to begin mass production of an elaborate mask, like the one used for myself, and presuppose a public opinion that in time would be favorable. In all likelihood, masks would attain fantastic popularity, my factory would grow larger and larger, and even working full time it would be unable to meet the demand. . . . I wonder whether mankind could stand such an orgy of novelty, whether it would dioscover promise in such a weightless state, whether it would be able to evolve new customs."

p. 163 - “The mask does not deceive and is not deceived. How about putting on a new mask, turning over a new leaf, and starting another life? On these days of masks, we can put on a new look unconcerned with yesterday or tomorrow.”

p. 167 - “Does the nation consider the mask something evil and subversive? I wonder whether the nation itself is not an enormous mask intolerant of the rivalry of individual masks. Then the most harmless thing in the word must be an anarchist. . . .”

p. 205 - “And just as the existence of the barrier was merely a promise rather than a reality, I who had taken off the mask found my existence also shallow and illusory. And I thought of the mask—of the world that I touched upon through the mask—as having a far greater reality.”

p. 214 - “my real face was merely an incomplete mask”

p. 223 - “I reflected that love strips the mask from each of us, and we must endeavor for those we love to put the mask on so that it can be taken off again. For if there is no mask to start with, there is no pleasure in removing it, is there? . . . It is meaningful to put a mask on, precisely because one makes others realize it is a mask. . . . After all, it was not that the mask was bad, but that you were too unaware of how to treat it.”

p. 236 - “The mask might not be absolutely right, but it was not completely wrong.”