i meditated for twenty minutes.
i mailed a story to diane williams.
it's cold in my apartment right now. the windows are open.
i, um... i'm reading 'essays and fictions' by brad phillips. it's going to be published in january, i think. jordan edited it. i told jordan i trust him yesterday. we had a nice conversation. he's reading near prospect park on november 14. other people reading with him: nicolette polek, megan boyle, marston hefner, christine brache, brad phillips. i hope i can go for free...
i edited a story for four or five hours today. i felt extremely crazy at one point, while editing it.
i'm running out of soap. i don't want to grocery shop.
was going to maybe snort the rest of my ketamine, but now it doesn't seem as urgent. after meditating, it felt less urgent.
here's something: i wrote "twenty minutes" and "november 14." i'm always tweaking about stuff like that.
i'm in an uncomfortable sitting position.
when it's humid outside, my trackpad is fucked, but when it's not humid, it seems to work fine.
i bought a wireless mouse in may or june to deal with this. i'm not using the wireless mouse right now. the trackpad seems functional.
on saturday, which was five days ago, my rash got a lot worse. now it's gone. i changed sitting positions. i entertained the rash being a product of, like, a spell my sister put on me when she was a child. my sister is a virgo. she used to fuck with me. she's very nice now. we hardly ever talk or see each other.
my cat brushed up against me while i was meditating and it felt erogenous.
i saw a strange, endless seeming, purple plain in my "field of vision" with my eyes closed. it was, like, vast... maybe... the... it wasn't a literal physical space. duh. it had curvature to it. at first it was flat, and then it was like the roundness of the earth, supposedly.
stephen facetimed me and i ignored it, then i accepted it the second time he did it. he told me about a movie called 'the flesh of frankenstein.' it was released in 1973, which is the same year 'the wicker man' was released. the original one, i mean, with christopher lee. i think i've written about how that is my favorite movie.
yesterday was yom kippur and i ate dinner at zoe's parents' apartment. i went to some services with zoe. other people were there. zoe's dad threw a glass in the sink. zoe's mom said something like, "conspiracy theories are just people trying to make sense of something."
talking to stephen, today, which was the following day, not addressing zoe's mom, i said, "so is reality, lady." we laughed.
"lady" seems aggro... i've got some other ideas. one of my ideas was to get extremely stoned on thanksgiving this year. i can't imagine how certain things in my life will unfold.
i'm keeping that stuff to myself for now.
i'm extricating myself from blogging more. this is all i wanted to type about. i could keep typing more, indefinitely, maybe, but i'm going to extricate myself.